As the credit music played after this recent episode of FNL, I remarked to David that it's incredible how Tami and Eric's trajectory parallels, in many ways, our own life.  I am referring specifically to the dynamic of their marriage and how it has weathered, for better or for worse, significant changes in this, and past, seasons.  This season begins with the (agonizingly slow) departure of Julie, leaving Gracie Belle at home, at a time when Eric and Tami where probably expecting (and maybe even hoping) to be empty-nesters.  We had Lev this summer and still feel pretty overwhelmed with the sudden transformation of our life from one that was pretty self-centered to one that, well, just doesn't center around us anymore.  We're also at a professional crossroads, trying to figure out how to balance a fulfilling and ambitious professional life with the responsibilities and demands of parenthood.  Also, having Lev really has underscored how crucial it is to develop and continue to work on a strong foundation as a couple.  Marriage is constantly evolving but it's not always clear where it's headed.  The question of boundaries came up again this season with Epic and Vince.  Both Tami and Eric take their work personally but when it shows up at their home in the middle of the night, you can see them struggle with space and availability.  Where do you draw the line?  Work, partner, kid--it's a lot to keep in balance while also keeping yourself intact.  In the end, I think, I am talking about integrity.  What Coach Taylor says about football applies to home: "a celebration of teamwork and cooperation when executed properly."  (spoiler after jump)

This particular episode struck an additional personal chord.  Tami, after years working "as a counselor in a small Texas school," has received an offer of employment from a good university.  The prospect of jumping from guidance counselor to Dean of Admissions is both daunting and flattering.  Tami is clearly one of those people who can turn difficult situations around through sheer tenacity.  She respects her work and brings a real love and commitment to it, even when she is, arguably, overqualified.  But there is a subtle conflict underlying the prospect of taking on this job and it's not geographic.  If we look at professional careers linearly, we can argue that for both Tami and Eric, working at a college or university is an advancement.  It's also a validation of the hard work they have put into their high school careers.  But do they need it?

I think about this all the time.  When I started applying to graduate schools, a former professor and mentor told me very plainly: "Don't do this if you are expecting a tenure-track position at an Ivy League college in the end."  I thought about this for a few months, while I traveled in Europe after three complicated years in Israel.  I had acceptances from a number of programs and needed to make a decision.  I had a lot of questions to consider: Why did I want a PhD in Comparative Literature?  What kind of career did I want to have?  What kinds of compromises was I willing to make?  I could do it only if I could accept the process as the reward.  In Venice, on a rainy night, I left my hostel and took a long ride around the city.  The fog and rain had obscured everything.  As the vaporetto approached each dock, the outlines of buildings and streets would come into view only to recede again when it pulled away.  There was no way to know what would happen and that was okay.  I had to trust my preparation.  I made my plans and started graduate school that fall.  A semester later I met David, now we have Lev.  After four years of applications and rejections, I have a fellowship but what will happen next is anyone's guess. Things in my life become clearer as I approach them.  Sometimes they are part of the plan, but another lesson from this episode is that you have to be prepared for the unexpected.  You need to be fit.  I keep working on this part.  

As Vince was preparing for that final drive in the regional playoff game, David turned to me and said "I have bad feeling about this."  "Me too," I confessed.  That play tested Vince's fitness.  As he called the play with the fluency of an experienced quarterback, I stopped thinking about the touchdown and enjoyed his confidence.  He dove into the line and bounced off.  It was time to improvise.  And so Vince took a chance, trusting that his and the team's hard work would pay off, and started to run with joy.